As I sit here writing this I think to myself am I aiming to be the next Carrie Bradshaw? Do I aspire to be taken seriously in my ramblings? I mean who am I kidding, she had a killer wardrobe and one hell of a social life. She dated a string of gorgeous men. Had a lot of both bad and amazing sex. Who can't relate to that?
Truth be told I can only relate to the bad and amazing sex part over the years. But yes I would love to be New Zealand's answer to Carrie Bradshaw. Writing is one of my passions and they say you should write what you know. So here I am, writing about something I'm by no means an expert in but I'm definitely experienced in. And what I do know is that Disney got one thing right out of all of those fairy tales......You do have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince! Except we all know it goes beyond the art of kissing.
Over the years I've read all those self help books about relationships and how to land (or in some cases trap) the man of your dreams. And for the majority of them...I call Bullshit!
My favourite of all time was the one that told me giving up my girlie goodies on the first date was not a good idea because it set the tone that you were easy and just out for sex and that's exactly what men will use you for. I have several counter arguments to this theory that I would like to present now.
First of all, lets be honest sometimes at the end of a first date often you can see there is no long term potential there, but that doesn't mean your not up for taking that little stallion out for a trot or two round the track. Since when did women stop having needs and desires? Because we are women we should hold our legs tightly shut until prince charming finally comes along and blows the cobwebs aside? I think not!
Secondly, what happens if he's a dud? You know the guy I mean. The one that ticks all the boxes in every other way, but you get him in the sack and its the biggest disappointment. Like when the bad mean man stole all your candy.
Now, a lot of people would say that you can train him, make him better. But who really has the time or energy to do that. And you can't train a guy who is hung like a church mouse. There is no coming back from that. And let me tell you ladies, if you haven't already had the misfortune of experiencing this one for yourself, there is nothing more depressing than getting a decent guy home, getting his pants off and discovering that bad boy isn't going to touch the sides.
So my rather long point to that argument is why would you want to wait for 6 dates before you sleep with a guy? Why build up all that anticipation? Why start to like a guy only to discover that he is completely incompatible sexually? Try before you buy!
But wait ladies....there is more. My third and final argument is this. The experts say don't give up the goodies on the first date because then the guy will just use you for sex. In my experience, if a guy is just going to use you for sex then that is exactly what he will do. It doesn't matter how long you wait to offer him a stroll in your lady garden!
If a guy likes you and is interested in you and wants to date you....he will! Its that simple. If you are a demon in the sack then that is just the icing on the cake for him.
Stop reading those relationship help books, they aren't going to help you bag Mr Wonderful. Because Mr Wonderful is either going to like you and make you his person, or he isn't. And if while your waiting for him that means you have to keep "kissing" frogs then enjoy the ride and embrace yourself and anyone else you fancy embracing!
Until next time xo
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